Opposites DO NOT attract
by MonkeyHead
Summary: ShikaIno. Ino's much too bossy and Shikamaru's much too unpopular. The thought of them the two being the least bit attracted to each other, crazy, illogical, and just plain weird...right? Sniff, the last chapter...
1. Stalemate

**Stalemate**

Summery- ShikaIno. A battle of wits, ice water and Asuma having "privet discussions" all in one nice cellophane wrapped package. What could be better?

Hn. Disclaimer, too troublesome. You already know it's not mine.

Shikamaru sighed, "Hn troublesome ".

_2 weeks ago_

"Come on Shikamaru pour me a drink already!" Ino's pretty face contorted in annoyance as Shikamaru muttered something and kept watching the clouds. As Ino continued to shriek he grimaced, why had Asuma Sensei made them go on this picnic again? To "promote togetherness", or so that he could have a romantic interlude or what he called "a privet discussion" with Kurenai in the woods, which according to Naruto was code for Asuma was "getting some", either way it was very troublesome. The lazy genius yawned and scratched his head before lying down in his usual position and raising his half opened gaze to the sky. The clouds were nice, free as always, their only ambition to drift, no troublesome missions, no Ino squawking in his ear. Just aimless drifting

"Shikamaru! Come on! I want a drink!" Ino fumed inwardly as the boy ignored her. Ever since he had become a Chuunin, Shikamaru had been acting differently. He still lazed around whenever he could, he still complained and muttered troublesome every few seconds when forced to do something, he still wore his hair in that stupid pineapple topknot…ok so he hadn't really changed that much, but he wasn't doing what she asked anymore . Whenever she would ask him to do something, perfectly polite as always, he would mutter troublesome and ignore her. Shikamaru had begun to grow a bit of a backbone and Ino hated it! Stupid pineapple head! "Shikamaru pour me some water or I'll I'll…just do it ok!" Arrrrgggg he's still wasn't listening, when she had lost her magical convincing powers! Choji still listened to her and even if he ever didn't she could always just take away his precious potato chips. When had Shikamaru become so difficult! She was supposed to be the leader of the Ino-Shika-Cho Trio, so why wasn't Nara Shikamaru following orders! He was going to ruin the equilibrium of their team! "SHHHHHHIIIIIKKKKAAAA!"

" Fine, listening to you is too troublesome," the stupid pinapple head groaned a bit sitting up and sighed. Grabbing the jug of icewater next to Choji, he pulled it back just in time before some potato chip crums contaminated it, or at the very least made it very icky.

Inner Ino smiled gleefully! She had gotten Shika to do what she wanted and it only took her half an hour. She probably could have poured and drunk three glasses of water in that time, but still she had won! Now if only she could think of a more effective way to get Shikamaru to do what she" AH! " Ino bolted upright, "My new shirt! You,you just got icewater on my new white shirt! This is silk you clod!"

. It wasn't until Shikamaru felt the pain of Ino's fist connecting with his jaw and heard the thundurous clicking of her departing heels that his mouth began the close. Blinking repeatedly, he shook his head trying unsuccessfully to clear it. Glancing at Choji he saw the same dumbfounded look on the teenager's face. Scowling at the ground, he tried to will his heart to stop rumbling and his face to lose its deep red flush, "troublesome."

It didn't take Ino that long to notice the hesitant but constant looks that Shikamaru had been giving her for the past couple days. It also had not escaped her clever mind just what body part his eyes always seemed to focus on. Before the picnic "incident" occasionally she had noticed his eyes flicking over her body, but it was only done with a sort of lazy semi interest. But now, during practice, when he and Choji walked her home, even across the room at the Ramen shop, she would catch him staring at her. He must have thought she didn't notice but she always did. His once disinterested eyes would become somewhat glazed over, his mouth slightly open. It was funny, half trout, half pineapple. What was even funnier was when they would converse; he would spend the whole time fighting with himself to keep his eyes on her face.

She also couldn't help but notice that the lazy Nin had gone back to doing things for her, sometimes before she even asked him to! Especially since she had taken to wearing very thin t-shirts instead of her normal purple sweaters. She had even stopped wearing a bra before Asuma Sensei had pulled her aside and told her "the t-shirts were pushing it, but could she please wear a bra before her teammates fell to the ground unconscious from constant nosebleeds".

Who knew a now ruined white shirt could produce such profitable results…actually…she should have already known that. She and Sakura had read the "romance novels" her mother had stashed in her top drawer enough times to know just what a see through shirt and puckered nipples could do to a man of almost any age.

Sometimes she would feel bad when she would deliberately lean over in front of the Nara, "accidentally" showing him just what exactly was hidden underneath her t-shirt, but deep deep deeeeeeep down a part of her felt a slight thrill when she heard his breath quicken as his eyes locked on the "goods". Also, he looked pretty cute when he blushed. NO, no no not cute, funny! Half trout, half pineapple!

He knew exactly what she was doing. He was after all a genius, much smarter then most of the men in Kohona and definitely most of the women, though he hadn't really been acting like anything but a buffoon lately. In fact, just yesterday, he had been so distracted by the memory of the combination of ice water and Yamanaka Ino that he had actually lost a match of Shōgi to Asuma Sensei. Despite his teacher's overwealming cockyness while he played, he really really sucked at the game and Shikamaru had lost to him!

For about the last two weeks he had been stumbleing around trying to think of anything but Ino. Clouds, Shōgi, hell he even tried to conjur up the thought of Jiraiya naked, but after the expected shudders and overwelming nausea passed, his traitorous mind had flounced right back to many many intresting thoughts about the pretty blonde. But she wasn't really helping him stop, those tight t-shirts, the five days she hadn't worn a bra…When he had overheard Asuma Sensei telling her to start wearing one he had certainly been relieved, but he had also been very disappointed.

He had been such a super idiot that, for the first couple days, he hadn't even noticed that everything she was doing was on purpose. It was until Ino had leaned over him trying to retrieve her kunai for a suspiciously long time while, in the process, showing all she "had to offer", that his sluggish brain had even begun to notice that something was off. And the worst part was the pieces hadn't even clicked until he had heard Choji mutter, "Why does she always give him all the attention? I'm here too." Why had she been giving him so much attention indeed? It wasn't like he was handsome or even interesting, at least not to someone who was obsessed with the "mysterious" and overly angsty Uchiha Sasuke, so why was she actually taking the time to show off her body to him?

He had soon came to the conclusion that she was pissed at him for something and this was her way of getting him back for whatever the hell it was that he had done. Ino could be scary when she was angry, hell she was scary in general sometimes. He had endured Ino's wrath many a time with little complaint but this was seriously pushing it. She was causing his brain and body to rebel against him.

Before Ino had begun tormenting him, he has been quite level headed when it came to girls and the female form, able to stay aloof instead of acting like a total senseless idiot similar too how most guys around him did. Girls were troublesome, at some point he would get married to an average wife and have a few average kids, but until then he knew he would be able to keep total control of his senses when it came to girls. Who needed someone who cried all the time and wanted to talk about their feelings for a few kisses and the occasional grope, not Shikamaru that was for sure .Or so he thought until a certain cup of ice water had soaked a certain blonde's white shirt. It was so troublesome.

If it weren't for Ino, he would be contemplating the density of clouds instead of trying to devise strategies of how to tear one of her flimsy t-shirts with his kunai and make it seem like it was an accident. If it weren't for Ino, Shikamaru was convinced that he would have been able to control and suppress any hormones he may have during his teenage years and as soon as she stopped shoving her chest in his face he would go back to being able to do so.

But Shikamaru had a plan, a plan that was so simple and foolproof that he wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier. Of course, whenever he did try to think about the situation he would begin to become…restless and then he would have to…well he wasn't going to think about what he had had to do because once he put his plan into action he would never have to do it again. Well maybe he would…but just once or twice…three times tops. Once his plan succeeded, and Shika was absolutely positively with only 7.2 of a doubt that it would, this whole ordeal would be over. Now all he had to do was find his opponent...uh erm…teammate Ino.

Target spotted, Shikamaru strode over with a concentration he only ever showed while thinking up his next move, both in leisurely games and during more troublesome missions.

"Shika, what the hell are you UMPT!" The plan was to kiss her for thirty seconds. He had figured that once the initial kiss was performed, not only would she be mad as hell, but she would also be so embarrassed that she wouldn't be able to even look him in the eye causing any extra attention she might give him to halt and freeing him from getting the ulcer that would soon be created by the way his innards would twist and turn anytime she was near.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…. He hadn't even been able to count to ten when he realized just how good she tasted. Her lips were sticky and sweet with the cherry lip gloss she always insisted on wearing; they almost tasted as good as mackerel and kelp. His technique was clumsy and just a little bit sloppy but the amount of enthusiasm he put into it caused it to actually feel very pleasant.

He had just cleaned off her lower lip and was now beginning to flick his tongue over the upper one when she pulled away. Shika's eyes remained closed, as he stood slightly dazed. A few quiet moments passed before Ino shrieked "That was saved for Sasuke-kun!" punching him with such force that that his face snapped sideways, but he hardly noticed. He still continued to stand there with his eyes closed as she stomped off to yell her outrage to anyone she could find.

The plan had supposed to have worked perfectly. It had been practically foolproof, but the flushed Nara had never thought to calculate one very important factor into his seemingly "great" strategy. Running his tongue over his lips absentmindedly and feeling his body shiver as he tasted the remnants of her delicious lip gloss, Shikamaru realized that he had just done one of the stupidest things he ever had. He had lost the game in the worst way that could ever be possible and now he was totally and irreversibly screwed.

Oh gods! Now he was going to end up just like his father!

Then again…if he had actually opened his eyes he would have seen Ino's face replicating his own during the silent seconds after the kiss, as if a victim of his Shadow Jutsu. The only difference was her fingers were softly touching her lips. If he hadn't been so dazed at the time she walked away, he might have noticed her stumbling, cheeks flushed and her breathing quick. If he had just looked at her once he might have notice that he hadn't actually been totally defeated…rather it was more like he and Ino had reached a stalemate…

Shikamaru sighed, "Hn troublesome ".


	2. Cherry Lip Gloss

**Cherry Lip Gloss**

Summary-Is Shikamaru going through an identity crisis? Ha, he wishes it were that simple!

Hn. Disclaimer, too troublesome. You already know it's not mine.

The infamous pineapple headed wonder's eyes widen as he realized just where his meandering legs had taken him,"No I didn't just, how did I…"

How the hell had he gotten to Kohona's All Purpose Store? He didn't even remember walking there. True, usually while walking he'd be a little too engrossed in cloud watching to look where he was going, much to the annoyance of the people walking around him, but he usually got to his chosen destination without much trouble. His legs always seemed to know the way. He had supposed to have been going home, it was getting close to dinner time and his mom got pretty pissed when he was late. So why had he come here? And why was he in this aisle…….He needed a razor (too bad he didn't shave) He needed some toothpaste (like Shikamaru would buy his own toothpaste if he could get his mom to buy it instead) He needed…hair ties? (He….ok I'll let that one slide)

That's it! He needed hair ties! He was going to get some hair ties…except he was in the wrong isle…You see, hair ties were in the hair care isle five isles to the left, the isle he was in…

He had already noticed he was in front of a large display of various lip glosses…he just hadn't wanted to admit he knew. It was an accident you see! There was absolutely no reason he was in that very lip glossy spot, none at all. There hadn't been any particular reason he had ended up in this very spot three times already this week. Just an accident. Unintentional.

_So many lip glosses, wonder how many of them are cherry…_

His "innocent" contemplating was interrupted by a sharp howl. Oh…it was Kiba; well obviously it was Kiba who else would howl but a member of the Inuzuka clan, trying to make Hinata laugh down by the comic books. Yet another male letting his hormones control him. Idiot. It was pretty obvious that Hinata liked Naruto, but Kiba wasn't one to give up. Instead he bombarded the Hyūga heiress with big grins and boisterous antics meant to impress her.

Ok, he needed hair ties; he needed to get away from the lip glosses, buy some hair ties, and then get the hell out of the store before someone saw him. It would be very troublesome if Kiba and Hinata came across him in his current location. Hinata wouldn't say anything of course, but Kiba well he would probably…too troublesome to think about.

After sneaking another peek at the feminine lip coaters, Shikamaru touched his own lips and wondered for what seemed the millionth time in the space of two hours what kind it was that Ino was wearing when he had kissed her. He was pretty sure he had tasted cherry, but cherry seemed to be a very popular flavor. Was she wearing **Cherry Lip Gloss Delight,** or **Rock Your Socks Off Cherry Lip Balm**? Was she wearing **Cha Cha Cherry Lip Enhancer, **or **Shooting Star Cherry Gloss **(with lip plumping enhancers)? Her lips had been tangy yet sweet; could she have been wearing **Ninja Girl's Cherry-Vanilla Extreme Lip Gloss**? He picked up the tiny tube of pink studying it.

"Hey Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru's eyes widened slightly in fear, as he hastily shoved the offending lip gloss in his pocket. Putting his other hand in his other pocket, he tried to force his face into his usual expression of boredom, while his mind feverishly hoped that the owner of the voice hadn't seen what he had been holding.

"Hn," his voice came out surprisingly calm, while his heart ran rapid. He looked up at the ceiling. Yeah he probably looked crazy; it wasn't like he could pretend he was cloud watching, he was inside after all. Yeah the bright florescent lights were starting to really hurt his eyes, but it was better then letting anyone see the sweat that was currently beading on his forehead.

"So what are you up to?" Shika knew without even looking that Kiba had a big smirk on his face, "I needed to get some…hair ties." More smirking from the tattooed dog boy, "Aren't they in isle twelve? This is isle seven."

"Yeah but first I wanted to get…" _think Shikamaru what did you want to get that's close to here. Come on they're waiting! Damn it! Some genius you are. Just say something! Anything! Anything would be better then what they're probably thinking,_" con…doms." _Ok, yeah that might just be worse…_

Kiba and Hinata stared at the blushing boy in shock for a minute before Kiba's face broke out in a huge raunchy grin and Hinata turned five different shades of pink.

Shikamaru almost toppled forward when Kiba smacked him on the back hard, which of course forced him to see Kiba's lecherous smile and Hinata's frantic fight to look at anything but him. "Wow, damn Shikamaru! You're more advanced then I thought! Who's the lucky girl, or should I say the girl you're getting lucky with."

Shika was really starting to hate that smile Kiba was giving him. "Uh wow, 5 o' clock all ready. I better get home or my mom's gonna kill me, " it wasn't a lie; he was a half an hour late. His mom really was going kill him….

Kiba watched the stumbling boy's departing flak jacketed vested back, as Hinata continued to look at the ground blushing. Akamaru barked in his jacket and he smirked, "Yeah, I saw him put the lip gloss in his pocket too."


	3. The Magnificent Sasuke?

**The Magnificent Sasuke?**

Summery- Choji's in love and Ino abuses Mr. Fluff.

Ino smiled as she pulled back her purple flower spattered comforter and crawled into her bed. With a soft yawn, she nuzzled her head into her fuzzy pillow. After wiggling her body a bit to get comfy, she closed her eyes in preparation for her favorite pastime and what pastime might that be? Why dreaming of Uchiha Sasuke of course!

Ino's smile grew larger as she thought of her future life with the handsome Uchiha survivor. They would live in a big house with two beautiful children, a boy that looked almost exactly like Sasuke, a girl who look a lot like her. Sasuke would finally lighten up under her cheerful influence, becoming the perfect attentive husband and shower her with gifts…..

"_Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" , a pretty little girl with unruly black hair runs by Ino, practically knocking her over, running to her father still clothed in his Jounin vest. _

"_OooF!" the young man catches the ecstatic girl with a bewildered look that seems to say " what did I do to deserve a child like this, " but Ino can see a hint of a smile on his lips .But as soon as he sniffs the air the smile turns into a grimace," cooking again I see," and then a smirk " so what is it today, burnt stir fry or overcooked eel?" _

"_Hey!" Ino's soft smile turns into a look of annoyance, " I can cook very well thank you very much! There must be something wrong with the oven. "_

"_Hn, you mean one we just bought last month." Walking to her husband , Ino lifts her hand in a attempt to smack him , but he easily catches it, using said hand to pull her into his arms, a well thought out move he knows will cause her anger to melt away. She sighs fury forgotten, " I missed you Shika, whenever you go on such dangerous missions I get so worried…" _

"_Ino come on, you don't have to. I always come back. " , Shikamaru closes his eyes hoping she's not going to start crying like he thinks she is, unfortunately his prediction is correct. "SHIKA YOU COULD HAVE DIED! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE! NOT WHILE I STILL LOVE YOU!" _

"…"

"_Shika, I said I love you."_

_Some mumbling_

"_If I say I love you you're supposed to say it back!"_

"_I did!"_

"_Well you're supposed to say it loud enough for me to hear it!"_

_Mumbling about a half an octave louder._

"_Nara Shikamaru you tell me you love me or you're sleeping on the couch for a week! And not the nice one in the living room, the lumpy one in the den!" _

"_Ok, ok, I love you. You are so troublesome" _

_Ino raises her hand in preparation for a slap, when she notices his big grin, she drops down her arm and nuzzles him instead and he nuzzles back , "I really do love you Ino ." Another nuzzle from Ino, "Say it again Shika." "I love you Nara InOW!" _

_Both Ino and Shikamaru look down at their daughter who has, in her irritation of not being the center of attention for a WHOLE FIVE MINUTES, bit her father's leg **hard. **Shikamaru rubs his leg, but continues to smile "Of course, I love you more Shikatana. " _

"Ahhhh!", Ino sat straight up in her bed sending her stuffed bear, Mr. Fluff, into a flower tessellated wall. Seeing what she had done, she leapt up to save said bear. Scooping him up, she began to hug him apologetically as she remembered just where she had gotten Mr. Fluff. Shikamaru had given him to her on her 8th birthday and she had loved the bear ever since. For a moment Ino thought she could smell Shikamaru's strong woodsy scent on the bear, she sighed breathing it in deeply.

Her eyes snapped open as she realized what she was doing and the bear went splat against the wall again. Ino picked Mr. Fluff up and cuddled him "Sorry Mr. Fluff, it's not your fault that Shikamaru's a jerk. " A kinda cute jerk, if Ino's dream was any indication of what the Nara boy was going to look like in the future well…he might just end up being kinda hot…

Ahhhh! What was she thinking! Shikamaru wasn't hot! He would never ever be hot! And what the hell was she doing dreaming about him! _Maybe you had a dream about him because you like him. _Yeah maybe she had a dream about him because she…WHAT! HELL NO! He must have learned some sort of new jutsu and was using it against her! Yes that was it! Damn that Shikamaru!

"I'm going to kill Nara Shikamaru! ", she threw Mr. Fluff against the wall for emphasis and then ran over to give him a sorry snuggle.

Poor Mr. Fluff….

"And then she gave me these chips! For free! They're pineapple and guacamole. They just came out and I've wanted to try them all week. And she gave me them for free! I think I'm in love!"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at his exuberant best friend, "You just met her two days ago."

"Yes but she's pretty, and she gave me free chips and…they're good."

"…." Shika rubbed the back of his neck thinking,"Hey Choji?"

"Hmmm""

"Do you really like her?"

Choji looked a bit indignant, "Course I do, I just said I did."

"Yeah but…" Shikamaru continued to rub the back of his neck trying to ignore the flush that was rising to his cheeks," if you didn't want to like her…you could make yourself stop right? I mean if you **really** didn't want to like her, there must be some way to make yourself stop right?"

Now Choji was even more confused, "What do you mean?"

Shika thought of the way Ino's soft body had felt against his, how that one troublesome lemon lock of hair had tickled his cheek." Nothing, never mind."

"Nara Shikamaru!"

Both boy's eyes widened, they knew that voice. Shikamaru cringed as he saw Ino stomping towards him, her hands clenched firmly to her sides and her face stormy. Choji cowered along side him.

"You asshole!"

"Ow! Ino, what the hell are you…"

"Stay out of my dreams!"

"What! Ouch! What are you talking abo.."

"You jerk!"

"But I didn't do anythOW!"

"_I love you Nara InOW!"_

Ino's hand dropped and her face grew pale as she stared at the now very bruised and slightly bloody Chuunin…then she to ran away.

Choji looked at Shika more confused then he had ever been in his whole potato chip filled life. "What just happened here?"

"I have no idea…"

"Huh…I usually don't have any idea why Ino does anything anyway."

"Yeah..."

Choji looked at Shika, who was now rubbing his new black eye, sympathetically, so he offered the one thing that always made him feel better. "You want some chips?"

"Uh, yeah sure, "the pineapple headed Nara took out a couple chips, put some in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "Hey, these are pretty good."


	4. Mothers, Troublesome

**Mothers, troublesome.**

Summery-Poor Shikamaru……

"_Kagemane no Jutsu." _

_Her eyes are wide as she feels her body stiffen, her hands clasp together in an iron grip that is not her own. Her left leg lifts, then her right then the left again, and she is moveing slightly slowly,her hands now placed at her sides, twords the boy who is doing the exact same thing. _

_Both boy and girl are soon pressed together and their lips do the same, The Kagemane no Jutsu causes their mouths and tounges to syncranize perfectly At first the kiss is sloopy and eager, but as her lips replicate his own, he soon learns and corrects his mistakes. The very conveint shadow technique causes him to feel every thing she feels and he soon knows what feels good and what doesn't and gods does it feel good! She is perfect and with Kagemane no Jutsu, he can be perfect too._

_As the, intoxicating taste of her lip gloss hits his tounge, he soon loses any concentration he once had, causeing him to looses control of his chakra and nullify his attack. _

_He expects her to pull away, but instead she sighs and tugs at his hair binding and he does the same to her. He then moves enthusiastic hands to her chest, quickly cupping her breasts and then letting his nervous fingers fumble and tug at a sweater that doesn't seem to want to come off. But it does eventually and he is just about to pull away so he can truly see her beauty (or maybe he just wants to do it because he's horny) when… _

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open and his rigid body popped up.

" No no no please no," he was fully aware of his sweat soaked body and his breath, hot and heavy. His wide eyes closed as he thought about Ino's tongue synchronizing perfectly with his, her lips replicating his own…"No no no. I **hate **that dream." _Who are you kidding you **love **that dream, you only wish it would last long enough for you to finally see her chest. The ice water was nice, but a shirtless chest is better…_No, he hated that dream, he hated that Ino made him have the troublesome dream every night for the last week.

Shika's eyes squeezed together, when he realized a certain part his anatomy that the dream had affected. "No, I'm not going to do that. I don't need to, I'm stronger then that"…Despite his previous protests, he did it anyway. Thankfully it was quick, though it ended in a moan that was a little too loud.

"Shikamaru, why are you moaning like that! Are you sick! You better tell me if you are!" The shadow master's eyes widened as he quickly tugged on his shorts, grimacing at the mess the act created. His mother would come in any second, even if she had to break the door down! "Honey he's fine trust me." Oh gods! His father had heard him too! What were they doing up at this hour! "What do you mean he's fine? Did you hear that moaning! The boy's in pain!" "Honey he's fine." He is not! He's in pain!" Shikamaru could hear Shikaku's voice begin to quiver due to his wife's shrill shrieking. "Don't worry honey. I'll look him over. You go to bed my love, my sweet dear, my angel." "Yeah you better! Or you're sleeping on the couch! And not the nice one in the living room, the lumpy one in the den!" (Sound familiar?) Shikamaru could hear her mutter as she walked away," What did I ever do to deserve a son who talks to me in such a way."

The door opened and Shikaku tossed Shikamaru a box of tissues, "Here, better use these, the ones with lotion burn like a bitch." Shika could hear his father snicker as he went to join his wife in bed.


	5. It all started with a bear

**It all happened with a bear...**

Summery- A bunch of embarrassing things happen to poor Shika and Shikaku ,Asuma and Choji laugh at his expense.

AN- Wow! I didn't know people actually liked this story! I knew that there were reviews of course, but I didn't know that some people put it on their favs ! This is so cool! I thought people were going to tell me this story sucked and such but people actually seem to like it! Yays! Thanks for the reviews and favs and such, they are very very appreciated.

His father wouldn't stop smiling at him, it wasn't a normal smile either, it was a smirk, the kind of smirk you find you find on someone _who knows something. _The corner of his mouth tugged up, his eyes more squinted then usual…"So Shikamaru…"

"Hn?", Shika looked up from the boiled eggs his mother insisted he eat. He hated boiled eggs, but when his mother told him to do something he usually did it in fear of incurring her wrath. Eh, mothers were so troublesome; from the look in his dad's eyes…he could tell he was going to be troublesome too.

"So Inoichi's daughter is getting pretty huh?" Shikaku questioned "innocently".

Shikamaru looked back at his food and shrugged mumbling," she's ok."

"Hmm," Shikaku's smirk seemed to get even larger, if that was possible, "no I think you think she's pretty, very pretty in fact."

The Nara boy's voice became tight." She's. Fine."

"Hmmm, fine huh? Isn't that what you kids say when you think someone's hot or blazing or whatever else you kids say. You know Shikamaru; you should grow some balls, a girl like that isn't going to be single forever. Why if I was your age, well I'd…"

Shikamaru stood up , half embarrassed and half repulsed "I'm late for training."

He was just about to leave, when he heard his mother bellow," Shikamaru you sit back down and finish your breakfast! You got hurt last night" Shikaku snickered" yeah he probably has a bad case of Carpel Tunnel Syndrome in his right hand."

Shika, moaned falling back into his chair and slumping his shoulders, his face flaming. Poking at his eggs, he listened to Shikaku's "fatherly advice."

Yamanaka Ino was frustrated, whether sexually or mentally you be the judge, she grumbled throwing her kunai at a target attached to large tree, the angry force in her throw caused the pointed tip of the weapon to bury itself deeply in the red bulls-eye.

Asuma Sensei whistled, "Good job Ino, you should be pissed more often." She heard Choji mutter," she usually is" and glared in his general direction. She attempted to glare at Shikamaru as well, but he kept his gaze firmly on Choji. Damn him! He was what was making her so pissed in the first place, and he wouldn't even look at her, so she didn't even get the satisfaction of showing him just how mad she really was! Idiot!

Shika was not going to look at her, one because if she noticed she would give him her patented evil Ino death glare, two because every time he did…he would get kicked in the face. Ino was much too pretty for her own good, no scratch that: for his own good….did he just think that, no he meant…well she was pretty…but it didn't really matter. Just because he kept dreaming about her and his mind would go numb whenever he looked at her, it didn't mean anything. So maybe he had a teeny tiny crush on her when he was younger. Hardly even a crush actually, she was a girl, she talked to him and well yeah. That was about it, it didn't mean anything…

_Ino smiled twirling a bit in her new dress, she was pretty as a princess in it. Much prettier then any girl at the party. _

"_Hey Ino." Ino looked up from her skirt smoothing surprised. "Shikamaru?" Wow he hadn't gotten up during the whole party. He ate and then layed down on the ground napping. He hadn't even gotten up when the other kids had started playing tag, which caused many of the kids to trip on him and even then he still hadn't gotten up! It hardly even seemed to phase him. But here he was now, actually up and talking to her. Weird. _

"_Here," he shoved a gift into her hands, " I got you something." Ino looked at the present and raised her eyebrow, " You put it in a plastic bag and tied the handles, you couldn't even wrap it?" The boy shrugged, "Wrapping's too troublesome." She rolled her eyes a bit and examined the bag," Your parents already gave me a present." Shikamaru shrugged again," Yeah, I bought it myself." Ino's eyes were so wide she looked a bit scary, Shika gave her a weird look then turned his gaze to the sky. "Well aren't you gonna open it?"_

_Ino grinned and ripped the present open, which was quite a feat considering the fact the fact that the bag it was in was made of reinforced plastic. Who was she to ever turn down a gift? She really didn't understand why anyone would. _

_Ino gasped looking at the bear in her hands and then squealed," he's so cute!" She nuzzled her face into his tan fur," soft too." _

_The young Nara kept looking at the sky, "Hn, he's ok ." His eyes went wide, though not in the scary fashion Ino's did, as the squealing girl hugged him, kissing all over his face, "Thanks Shika-kun!" _

_Shika gulped and nodded , his face bright red. He watched as Ino ran over to her parents to show off the bear. His heart was beating a bit faster then he would have liked and for a minute he wondered if he was having a heart attack. His face still held its rose tint as he watched Ino. She was so pretty..._

_His stomach dropped as he saw Ino talking to a boy much better looking then him, even at eight she was a flirt. He looked down at his feet, it didn't matter. He didn't like girls and even if he did he'd never like a girl like Yamanaka Ino. He looked at Ino one more time, then back at his scuffed shoes. It didn't matter. _

That had been eight years ago, eight years was long enough to get over a crush that wasn't even a crush anyway, right?

TWACK Shika cupped his now throbbing cheek and scowled, Choji had kicked him in the face again.

" Pay attention Shikamaru!" Asuma Sensei looked annoyed. " Alright spar with Ino, since you can't seem to spar with Choji. "

Shika looked panicked for a minute, then groaned and walked over to Ino.

Asuma and Choji watched as Ino attempted to kick the shit out of Shikamaru and he in turn tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to block her blows. At some point Ino tripped falling into Shikamaru, which caused him to capsize falling to ground. In her frantic scrambling not to fall Ino had accidentally pulled Shika's hair binding out letting his hair fall down to his shoulders.

Ino stared at him, he looked **good** with his hair down, hell he even looked kinda...sexy. She looked at his lips for a minute hardly concuss of her tongue wetting her own. She could feel his hard body under hers, gods when had he gotten so toned and strong, could hear his now ragged breathing, could smell his strong woodsy scent. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She reached up her hand to run it through his hair , which she was sure would be _so soft_.

Shika's eyes widened and, thinking she was going to smack him, he rolled over standing up , leaving Ino dazed on the ground. He closed his eyes and groaned , grabbing his kunai from his pouch and covering himself so Ino wouldn't see. This was getting ridiculous.

Asuma and Choji looked at him for a second, then began to laugh hysterically. "Alright, " Asuma Sensei said between loud guffaws, " I think its about time we end training today...For Shikamaru's sake."


	6. Playing House

**Playing House**

Summery- Shikamaru** hated** playing house

Ino watched her feet while she walked with Choji, usually Shikamaru would walk her home too, but he had left as soon as Asuma Sensei had said that training was over. Choji walked beside her silently, usually he would chat with her while they walked in a friendly manner, but today he was surprisingly quiet and he wasn't even eating. All this should have clued her in that this was not going to be a normal walk home, but despite the fact she was usually pretty observant, she hadn't even noticed.

Pushing some hair out of her eyes, she sighed trying to conjure up a picture of Sasuke kissing her, nope her mind went right back to Shikamaru .It was so troublesome…great he was burrowed so firmly into her brain she was even starting to think like him. Fabulous.

"Hey Ino?" Ino's head popped up; relieved for the distraction from her troublesome thoughts…she did it again…Wonderful. She opened her mouth to answer, but he interrupted her before she could.

"Shikamaru's a good guy. A great guy actually. To you he might not seem like much, since he's not really popular, or handsome, or anything of the traits you think are important, but he's intelligent and skilled and self sacrificing and those actually are traits that are important. He can protect you, you think Sasuke would do that? You think he'd stand there and hold you will you performed your Shintenshin no Jutsu and smell your hair. And yes Shikamaru does smell your hair, I think after all these years he's timed it perfectly so he can take a few big whiffs before you wake up." Choji laughed a little, but then his face became serious again. "Ino, you never even give him a chance. He likes you, he always has. Even when we were forced to sleep over each other's houses when we were little. Remember how you used to make him be the daddy when we'd play house? He **hated **playing house, but he always did for you. He likes you, even though he's always been too stubborn to admit it, even to himself. He likes you Ino and either you go and tell him you like him too, or you tell him that there's no way you would ever go out with him, so he can get over you and go out with one of the other girls that like him. "

Ino was obviously shocked, a bit disoriented actually, so she croaked out the first thing that came to her mind," Other girls like Shikamaru…"

Choji shook his head, smiled and grabbed the still walking Yamanaka Ino tugging her back, "we're in front of your house."

Ino nodded dumbly as Choji pulled a bag of chips out of his pouch smiling at her, "Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date."


	7. You're Just Jelous!

"**You're Just Jealous"**

AN-Hey look new chapter and its longer! Two words. Midterms Suck

Shika sighed, pushing his hair out of his face for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Looking at a troublesome black lock he sighed again, he was going to have to actually buy some hair ties. Ino had stretched the one he had been wearing beyond use when she fell on him. He would have gone home, but his dad had come home drunk last night and broken his mother's favorite lamp. Going home would mean that he would have to be in the direct path of his mother's rampage of rage…troublesome.

With a Ding and a shuffle, Shikamaru entered Kohona's All Purpose Store.

"Oh yeah sure, like yours is even close to that size!"

"Hell yeah it is! You're just jealous!"

"What me never! Mine wouldn't even fit into those ones! Now these! These are more my size!"

"Yeah right a shrimp like you!"

"Who are you calling a shrimp!"

Shikamaru walked a little faster, hoping the two arguing adolescents wouldn't hear him over their growling." Hey Shikamaru!" _Damn._ "Troublesome."

"Yo, Shikamaru!" Shika made a low whiny noised and then walked over, hands stashed firmly in his pockets.

"Yeah," he looked at the previously arguing Naruto and Kiba half annoyed and half indifferent.

Kiba grinned," So Shikamaru how about you?" Shika's face didn't changed much, just became even less enthusiastic," hn?" The tattooed boy's grin grew larger," well, you remember that time me and Hinata caught you buying condoms, what size did you get?"

If Shikamaru had been drinking something, he would have choked on it, but he wasn't, so instead he just turned red. " I uh, erm, I have no idea what you're talking about," his voice went from nervous to bored in a matter of seconds as he internally cursed him self for his mistake. _You idiot, how could you forget that one time with Kiba and Hinata. How could you walk over and start a conversation with Kiba! Of course he's going to remember, it was embarrassing and he's Kiba! Remember when you ripped that loud one back during class at the academy, Kiba's still talking about it. AND THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO! _

"What the hell, " Naruto gave a big lecherous grin. "What's this, Shikamaru buying condoms?"

The dog boy nodded, "Yup that's right, or at least that's what he told us, of course both me and Akamaru saw him putting lip gloss in his pocket. Right Aka?" The dog barked in response.

Shika's face flushed even darker, but he willed it into an expression of boredom.

"What!" Naruto's gleeful cry was so loud it could have woken Rip Van Winkle, and it did. Of course, this time, Rip Van Winkle was actually Shino, who grumbled a bit and fell back to sleep.

Kiba smirked,

_What Kiba says happened_

"Well, I was here with Hinata looking at some comics and I was wowing her with my manly charms. I mean really wowing her. There was me telling her how pretty she was and how sweet and she was loving it, there were actual hearts in her eyes, when I see Shikamaru shop lifting some lip gloss, don't ask me why. Well, it was much too good of an opportunity to miss, so me and my lovely soon to be girl friend came over to talk to this deranged klepto here, who said he was buying condoms and then left in a huge stumbling hurry. But me and Akamaru knew the truth eh Aka?"

_What really happened_

Ding Kiba rubbed his hands together eagerly as he walked into Kohona's All Purpose Store with Hinata. The newest Ultimate X Men comic had just come out and he couldn't wait to read it and maybe gnaw on it a little.

He gave Hinata his patented boyish grin and ran over to comics grabbing the last one, he then began to look through the other comics displayed. He had about 5 dollars that would buy him two comic books and a candy bar.

Pointing to a Wolfman comic he smiled, "that's like me huh Hinata? " He let out a long howl, which caused her to giggle covering her mouth as if she didn't want anyone to know. Kiba wished she'd take her hand away, he loved seeing her smile. So he did it for her, grasping the tiny pale hand in his large tan one he tugged it away from her face and smiled at her blush. Her hand trembled in his for a couple minutes before she gently pulled it away. Kiba frowned a bit, then smiled and shrugged at her nervous face good naturedly. He knew if he didn't she would feel guilty about taking her hand out of his.

She began walking towards the perfume section and he followed. He hated the perfume section with a fiery passion, not only was it boring, but so many strong flowery scents hurt his poor oversensitive nose. Usually he'd have to be dead to be dragged into that isle, and even then you'd better hope he wasn't a zombie, but for Hinata…insert romantic sentiment here.

She sprayed a miniscule amount of perfume on her wrist, which Kiba knew she would be scrubbing off feverishly as soon as they left the store. She sniffed it and then tentatively held it up to Kiba's nose. Both boy and dog on boy's head sniffed. Actually, the scent was making Kiba's nose burn, but the close proximity of Hinata's soft skin to his lips made his eyes flutter closed and the canine urge to bite and mark the skin become almost unbearable. Gritting his teeth and feeling a little bit of blood trickle into his mouth from where fang pierced skin, he discreetly adjusted himself hoping Hinata wouldn't notice what she was innocently doing to him. He also hoped if she did it would turn out she was really as naïve and innocent as everyone thought she was. With other girls he would probably grin and say" yeah its big huh," but this was Hinata and he didn't want to frighten her.

Hinata sighed, looking at the perfumes longingly. The young Inuzuka knew that her father forbade her from wearing any perfumes or cosmetics. Kiba didn't really think she needed them at all, in fact her liked her natural look, but he knew she wished she could wear all that unnecessary gunk.

He pulled away from her wrist and smiled at her, " You don't need any of that stuff Hinata, your pretty without it." He attempted to look into her eyes, but she kept her own locked on her feet," you're so so pretty Hinata." He nuzzled her neck suppressing a moan" you smell good too."

The Hyūga's eyes widened as she trembled," KiKiba Kun?"

Kiba pulled away thinking he was scaring the blushing girl," Hinata I…I really like you a lot, weshouldgooutonadate." There finally he had said it.

"…."

"Hihinata?"

"….."

"Hinata come on say something, please?"

"…."

Kiba gulped a bit, this wasn't going like he thought it would. In his fantasies, when he told her he liked her she would squeal happily, jumping on him and kissing him and he'd get to touch her chest a little. In his rational thoughts, she would actually say something, and maybe he'd get to touch her chest a little. But in real life, she wasn't kissing him, she wasn't saying anything and his hands were not on her chest!

In the corner of his eye he saw Shikamaru staring at some lip gloss with a dumb look on his facer. Thankful for a way to get out the awkward situation he called out, "Hey Shikamaru!"

Walking over to the boy, Kiba smirked seeing Shikamaru stash the gloss in his pocket.

"Hn," the Nara's voice shook a little, but it was still calm enough that if Kiba hadn't seen him perform the odd lip glossy act he would have never noticed the guy was nervous. But he had and now he was going to do what any male teenager would do if they had seen there friend perform such an act. Badger and tease the hell out of him.

Kiba's grin grew even broader when he saw Shikamaru staring up at the bright fluorescent lights on the ceiling, sweat beading on his forehead. This was going to be fun.

"So what are you up to?" Kiba questioned "innocently" smirking. "I needed to get some…hair ties." More smirking from the tattooed dog boy, "Aren't they in isle twelve? This is isle seven."

Shikamaru's face was more annoyed then usual as his eyes darted around franticly "Yeah but first I wanted to get…" Kiba kept smiling as the Nara boy paused obviously trying to think of something. Why didn't he just give up, who did he think he was fooling. Kiba knew he might have not been on the same intelligence scale as the super genius, but he wasn't stupid. He wasn't Naruto," con…doms."

Kiba's eyes widened in shock, before his face broke out in a huge raunchy grin and Hinata turned five different shades of pink. _Is he serious? Hey, you never know, but seriously it's Nara Shikamaru .He better not be having sex before me! Who the hell would he be having sex with anyway? Huh probably Ino, even Naruto can see the two of them want each other. Did they finally start fucking?_

Shikamaru almost toppled forward when Kiba smacked him on the back hard, he smiled lecherously and Hinata franticly fought to look at anything but him.

"Wow, damn Shikamaru! You're more advanced then I thought! Who's the lucky girl, or should I say the girl you're getting lucky with." _Yamanaka Ino._

Shikamaru's face flushed even darker, if that was possible. "Uh wow, 5 o' clock all ready. I better get home or my mom's gonna kill me. "

Kiba watched the stumbling boy's departing flak jacketed vested back, as Hinata continued to look at the ground blushing. Akamaru barked in his jacket and he smirked, "Yeah, I saw him put the lip gloss in his pocket too."

_And now back to the present_

Naruto and Kiba were both laughing so hard they were almost peeing their pants, thank gods Naruto decided against the Big Gulp he had considered drinking before." HOLY SHIT, the fox boy snickered," DID HE REALLY BUY THE CONDOMS!"

The dog boy snorted a bit," not this time, but you never know, he might have come back!"

More laughter.

And then something very expected happened, Shika punched Kiba, hard, hard enough to send both boy and dog on boy's head flying and then he walked away.

Kiba groaned, Akamaru whimpered and Naruto gaped, "What just happened here?" He felt someone tap him in the back and turned around only to be punched in the face by Shino," OW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" Shino's face remained as impassive as ever," You disrupted my sleep pattern," and then _he _walked away to be mysterious…and…sleep…and….whatever else Shino does.

Naruto touched his cheek and grimaced, " since when have Shino and Shikamaru become so violent. "

Kiba groaned again still sprawled on the floor and Akamaru barked which in Akamaru speak meant, "_maybe its opposite day." _


	8. The Last Chapter

**What can I say it's the last chapter.**

An- Here it is, the last chapter. It seems just yesterday I was writing what I thought would be a one-shot. Sniffle. Almighty, thanks for everyone who favorite and reviewed, I am eternally grateful for the feedback. I'm sorry if I wasn't as constant with the feedback as I should have been, things have been kind of hectic but I'll try harder next time. Sorry to Natsyourlord for not using your suggestion, maybe next time? Anyway, no one is probably even reading this Author's Note so…onward!

"And then he said fine, he said fine! Not no! He must like _me, _huh porker!"

"Mmm hmm."

"….You know, maybe I'll try to ask him out again, I think he might actually say yes this time."

"Mm, that's nice."

Sakura looked at her best friend/ best rival curiously, what was up with her? Unusually a comment like that would send her through the roof with a barrage of threats, snootiness and taunts of Miss Forehead, instead the usually load mouthed blond girl just sat there with a dopey grin on her face. Sakura wondered if she was even paying attention at all," Yeah the only problem is I'm engaged to the Hokage seeing as though we had that hot and heavy relationship when I was five and now I'm pregnant with his child." Nope, still nothing. What the hell?

Ino shivered as she thought about the way that Shika's tongue had eagerly swept over her lips, why had she pulled away and smacked him again? It certainly hadn't been because she wasn't enjoying herself. He had been pretty damn good at kissing…Plus, the way he had been laying on her when she had capsized on him just two hours before…She was knowledgeable enough to know that_ that_ wasn't a normal size, Sasuke on the other hand was probably over compensating for something, but not Shikamaru.

Sakura's eyes widened a bit when Ino started to giggle, wondering if she should take her friend and rival to the local medical nin.

After a short lecherous giggle, Ino wondered if she had ever really liked Sasuke, sure he was hot, damn fine in fact, but she wondered if it was the allure of the mysterious Uchiha, or the way Sakura's eyes budged out and that huge forehead creased in anger every time she flirted with the angst ridden boy, that caused her such exhilaration.

Her crush on Sasuke had always caused excitement and adrenalin rushes, but with Shikamaru it was all about shivers and stomach flutters. Whenever she had caught him staring at her at the academy she had felt the teeniest tiniest flip flop of her insides, but she had always ignored it and looked at Sasuke instead. It was safer that way, plus it infuriated Sakura.

Furrowing her fair brows, Ino's thoughts wandered to her favorite bedtime friend Mr. Fluff. Why was the stuffed ball of cuddly goodness so important to her? Was it because he was so damn cute or because Nara Shikamaru had given him to her and was also turning out to be very cute. And he was too, just a little bit of tweaking and he'd be down right sexy. _Shikamaru's a good guy. A great guy actually. To you he might not seem like much, since he's not really popular, or handsome, or anything of the traits you think are important, but he's intelligent and skilled and self sacrificing and those actually are traits that are important. _Choji was right, Shikamaru did have all the right traits. Maybe going out with him wouldn't make other girls green with envy, but there was no one else she trusted more. And through all these years, despite the fact that she was a total bitch to him at times, he was always kind to her. Well ok, he would grumble and say she was troublesome and mutter that it must be the time of the month, but no one ever said that Nara Shikamaru was a pleasant person. He was still kind to her, in a Shikamaru-y sort of way, if that even made sense.

She really hadn't ever given him a chance, Choji was right again Why would she give him a chance when she hadn't even ever made enough effort to even give him a birthday present? It wasn't like she could forget his special day it was the day before hers. He always made an effort on her birthdays, which was saying a lot seeing as this was Shikamaru, Sloth impersonated.

Mr. Fluff hadn't been the only present he had ever given her, just the only one he had presented to her in person. But even when he tried to be secretive he always unintentionally left little clues. There was the purple origami iris she had found on her pillow, dirty smudges on its pale petals from a just turned ten year old boy who had been too lazy to wash his fingers before he had folded it. Or the box of chocolates he had given her when they had both turned twelve, which he _claimed _were from Choji. Of course, if Choji had bought them for her, half the chocolates would have been gone by the time she had gotten them. For such a bright boy, he sure didn't know how to be stealthy when it came to matters concerning Yamanaka Ino. She had never given him a present back. She should have given him a present back, maybe now it was time to return the favor…

Sakura's green eyes widened just a bit more when Ino stood up halfway through her pink haired rambling…I mean conversation. The blond Yamanaka girl gave her a warm smile, "You know what Sakura, you can have Sasuke. He probably likes you anyway, that is of course, if the rumors of him being gay aren't actually true."

Shikamaru looked at the bag of hair ties in his hand, he had been so pissed at Kiba that he had grabbed them and left the store without thinking of paying. This was the second time that Ino had caused him to be a shoplifter. After using one to put his hair back into its usual topknot , he then threw the bag on the ground. Despite the fact that it had been a half an hour since he had left the store, he was still angry, but his anger wasn't directed towards Kiba anymore.

_What the hell! She breaks my hair tie, falls on me and then tries to smack me. She's always doing things like that always .It's not like these past three weeks have been different then any other three weeks in my life since the day after my birthday that she was born. She's always like this sweet one minuet, cruel the next, just lately the sweet part has been omitted from the Ino equation. Sure that was my fault, but I had to do something! She was touring me. Saying"OOO let me stick my boobs in Shikamaru's face every chance I get. He's 16, he's got to realize he has hormones sometime and when he does then he'll be my slave!" Why do I always put up with her shit, why don't I ever tell her to just fuck off…?_

A voice rumbled gently in his head, _because you like her you dumbass, always have always will. Because despite the fact she's a bitch sometimes, her smile fills up the room. (_Gee Shika's inner voice is corny) _Because she's pretty enough to be in one of Naruto's Playboy Ninja magazines and if she was you'd steal it and never leave the bathroom. _(Gee Shika's inner voice is…creepy_) Because she's a intelligent, capable ninja, with an ass that just won't quit _(Gee Shika's inner voice is an ass man)

"Shika….." Ino jumped back a bit when Shikamaru whipped around to face her, he was pissed…

"What, you're calling me Shika again Ino? What do you want this time? You know you have a lot of nerve, actually coming to my favorite cloud watching spot to ask me to do something for you!"

Ino blinked a bit, but she couldn't stop now, "I just...I've never given you a present before…"

Ino was being surprisingly meek, but that didn't stop Shikamaru from slitting his eyes and grinding out," What the hell does that have to do with anyth-" His angry words were interrupted by a soft, slightly sticky, pair of lips mushing against his and a sweet cherry taste against his tongue."

"Happy late birthday." The startled Nara nodded dumbly wondering what the hell was going on, then her lips claimed his again and all thoughts in his head were replaced with the words _mmm soft. _

"Hey Ino," he murmured into her neck after catching his breath, "what kind of lip-gloss are you wearing?" The flaxen haired girl gave him a weird look, but then shrugged, "It's a special blend my dad orders for me from some other village." He smiled and licked his lips nuzzling her neck," You should buy it in bulk, its yummy." Ino began to giggle, did Shikamaru just say the word yummy, but stopped abruptly when lips , that had just whispered the word yummy, began to kiss her neck.

Tugging at his hair binding, she shivered," you know that we're boy friend and girl friend-" Shika raised his eyebrow but decided not to say anything. Wasn't this what he wanted all along, to finally possess this clever, beautiful, strong and incredibly sexy girl? Yes definitely. "-you can't wear your hair in that stupid topknot anymore. I like it down." Not to mention annoying bratty and spoiled. "Ino, I'm not going to start wearing my hair down, it gets in my face and it's troublesome." "But Shhhiiikkkaaaa." Sigh, he wasn't going to win this one very easily," ok, maybe once and a while I will."

"Ok then lets talk about your cloths. Shika you need to update your style….Desperately."

"Ino, I'm not getting new cloths, I like my cloths."

"But the colors do nothing for you, you should wear red, or blue like Sasuke and get rid of that stupid jacket. "

"I'm not dressing like Sasuke Ino."

"But."

Shikamaru leaned forward kissing his new girl friend in a way he hoped would shut her up. It did.

Shikaku stumbled a bit as Inoich led him into the pitch black Nara residence. "Shikaku, I told you not to drink so much tonight, why don't you ever listen?" Inoich grunted dragging the heavy man hoisted against his shoulder who merely laughed at his annoyance," what are you talking about I'm fine, see I can even stand on my own." The top knotted man stood up, promptly falling into his wife's newly fixed favorite lamp about five seconds after he had pulled himself upright," Oh shit…"

Her frantic drunken stumbling to pick up the multicolored pieces was interrupted by a soft moan coming from his son's room. Shikaku grinned," I told him to be more careful about people hearing him." He crept over to the boy's door, well actually he banged, clomped and tripped to the door. A soft giggle came from behind the door. A giggle! Shikamaru didn't giggle! There was a girl in there with him!

Both men glanced at each other and snickered, overjoyed at the chance to humiliate the boy and whatever poor unsuspecting girl was with him.

The door slammed open with a thump followed by Shikaku's proud shout of "That's my boy!"

Inoich was feeling a very different reaction to the scene before him. His face began to turn the same color purple as the bra that the boy was diligently trying to unclasp," Get off my daughter!"

Shikamaru sprang up and ran for it with Inoich close behind and Shikaku couldn't help but add," actually it seems that your daughter was on him."

"You horny little piece of shit, I'm going to kill you for defiling my poor, sweet, innocent daughter!" Kunai, shuriken, the family cat, Inoich threw whatever he could at the terrified Nara.

Yoshino yawned, padding into the living room, wondering what the hell had woken her up. Her once sleepy half closed eyes popped open in horror. Her beautiful just redecorated living room was in shambles, Kunai sticking into the walls, her favorite lamp that she had meticulously pieced together for three days after her blundering husband had broken it broken **again**, the cat screeching on top of the TV, her son, clad only in his shorts, running away from Yamanaka Inoich, who had apparently morphed into a deranged madman, who was now throwing a prized family heirloom vase at her boy!

Horror soon turning into anger, her eyes locked on her cackling husband convinced that the disaster before her was all his fault," Shikaku!"

And another AN- Sniffle, oh gds…its over. Whatever will I do with myself now! _You could do your homework. _ Hmmm, I could write a Hinata Kiba fic. _Or do your homework, don't you have a presentation about ADHD and the negative effects of Ritalin coming up? _Hmmm yeah a Hinata Kiba fic would be fun. _Do your homework! Goddammit get yourself to the library you lazy jerk! _ Yes your right inner voice, I'll get started right away. A Hinata Kiba fic will be fun, thanks for such a great suggestion of how to spend my time. _Grrrrrrrrrrr_


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